Mar. 13th, 2017

lakeeffectgirl: ((iconomicon) space)
Word counts check-in for the 10th. Got a decent amount of work done on the Bond poly story, plus the Ads fic snippets. (I did want to write some shorter things this year!) I'm guessing the Bond story will clock in around 10k/11k total. I added a tiny bit to it on Saturday, before having what was apparently a panic attack so bad that I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. I managed to drive home, but then had my dad take me to the ER when I got home and tried to relax and the "what the fuck is wrong with me" feeling still didn't stop. I've only felt like that once before and that lasted twenty minutes, this lasted 2+ hours.

While talking with my dad while we were waiting for one of the dozen tests they had to run to rule out actual heart problems (I had a congenital heart defect when I was born that was repaired with surgery so I really wanted to be sure this wasn't a heart issue), he was like, "I've had panic attacks for years. And so has your aunt, and your grandfather did. Once I had one at work so bad I stayed in the bathroom all day." Thanks for telling me before now! Why is my family so bad with that? My mom didn't tell me about the heart surgery until I was thirty.

I still don't feel like myself but I also haven't slept well since, probably since I'm now anxious that it's going to happen again. Goal for this week: chill.

It is Snowpocalypsing here, and although it's lessened since when I drove to work, the winter weather advisory goes until tomorrow afternoon since we're supposed to get dumped on again tonight. And all I have to eat at my house is eggs and non-perishable stuff like noodles. Maybe I can make it to the grocery store before the snow really starts up again.


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